Sticks and Stones Have Nothing on Words

     I rarely use this blog anymore, not because I don't want to but mainly because I've come to realize that my life is my own. That every little thought I have doesn't need to be shared with the world and especially not online.  I'm a big believer in this media and that we can use it for so much good but I don't think we need to use to to share our every thoughts. But, I have a few opinions I'm ready to share. Maybe no one will read this, maybe no one will ever even see this, or maybe I'll never post it. But, It's time to let it all out for whoever will hear it. There are so many things I could cover in this post but there are only a few I will focus on. Mistakes made by myself and others, my choices and paths in life and my upbringing and the things I would never change. 

     My life is not in a place I thought it would never be in. I feel a mess, I've accomplished close to nothing educationally. I've given up on things that I could have and should have seen through. I've broken friendships to endorse other unhealthy ones. And, I've changed my attitude in a negative way multiple times. On the other hand I have been brave, strong and kind. I've seen a world outside of my values and said no to it. I've been the adult in situations involving those much more adult than I and I've improved my self in ways I never would have before.

     I have made mistakes, I have said things both on Social Media and in my life that I might not have meant or that I at least shouldn't have put out there. I know that my words have been worse than sticks and stones to others and I want to make that change. I want to see the good in those I view as bad. I will not change my opinions I will continue to dislike people who give me every reason too but I will no longer add to the slander of those who are good talented and strong people. 

     I was raised in, around and belonging to the the teachings and testaments of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or better known as "The Mormon Church" It is through those teachings and testaments that I formed the opinions and values that have made me who I am. Because I know the kindness of these teachings I know I must share that kindness with others, I know that I should be grateful, be smart. be clean, be true, be humble, and be prayerful. But now is that time that I would like to be honest. I hope this to be the only section of this post others will read with an open mind, because I'm not holding back a second of my valuable opinion.

     It is not your right to judge or say anything about the way I live my life and the choices I have made. I have been driven from many trips Utah in tears because of the ridicule and judgement of the people there. If you read this and have known you've said something about my choices know that you are responsible for my tears and you are responsible for the reason I no longer want to share the kindness of my childhood with those around me. 

     I get asked weekly if I am Mormon and my response remains. "I was raised Mormon." And let me tell you clearly... it is an upbringing I wish upon all children. It is an upbringing of good and strong values outside and inside the church. It is an upbringing of kindness and love. But being from the area I am, it is an upbringing of judgement, and belittling. A few things that if you're stuck around for a long time will tear you apart. 

     In my High School years I watched people I looked up to return from their missions early. Some for health reason, or faith reason and some for down right personal reasons. I watch those reasons become nothing more than a "failure" to those witnessing them. I saw people post things along the lines of "you weren't strong enough", "get back out there as soon as you can", and "another one bites the dust" and I coward in fear of ever leaving the comfort of the closed minded opinions I was raised around because of the things that would be said about me.

     I am proud of the place in the church I took part in and I will continue to believe on the side the teachings and testaments I remember most. At this time I don't attend church and maybe I never will again. But those belief's that I do still choose to follow I will not share with the public or even those closest to me. I believe there is a god and that my relationship with him belongs to no one else's mind. But I also believe that those who don't believe in God or those that believe in other gods are not wrong. They are right and hey have a right to get to see the world in their way and love every moment of it with out a second of judgement from me. 

     I recently saw The Book of Mormon Musical on it's tour in Costa Mesa California. This show has more heart and more love than half the church related Facebook posts from home I've seen in the better part of a year. The missionaries of the church in this show teach quite the opposite of the Book of Mormon. However they do so with the intentions of helping those in their Uganda mission. Knowing it's the only way they will listen. In the end they teach good morals and love even if they do it through a few swear words, a big "gay" dance number and a dancing Starbucks cup. After posting photos of me at this show I received comments and messages about me falling away, or that this show would not bring me closer to Christ. And you're right it won't, I knew that going in but; it sure as hell brought me closer to the kind of person I would like to be. One that teaches values over selfish opinions and one that laughs loudly at the ridicule of others to remain happy being the person they are. I am strong in who I am and I am not falling away. I am not becoming a bad person and I am absolutely not leading my life down a path of darkness. 

     This is the final word I have on those who've ridiculed me. You no longer have hold of me or my opinions. Do not take the teachings of a kind savior and use them for your own selfish gain, do not mistake missionary work as a way to judge those who choose not to follow your teachings. In the end my friends, these aren't your teachings they are gods. And I don't ever remember a teaching of God that said,"You can emotionally harm those around you with my words to make yourself feel like a 'good' member of the church" 

     As I get older maybe I'll regret the things I've written here, or maybe I'll see how wise I really was in these years of my life. But I know that as each day passes I grow stronger in who I am and the life I'm leading. As I pass my year and a half mark this May at the Walt Disney Company I hope and pray that I can continue to -through the magic of this place- realize my beliefs and learn to be the person I always wanted to be. Being away from my family has been the biggest challenge yet. Knowing they're back home laughing, making memories and having good times is sad to think of. But I know I am where I need to be.

I am in a place where I feel just as loved as if I were in my own home. I feel supported by those around me and can't go a single day with out a big smile. For the first time in my life I can go out and not feel judged. I thank my family for the support they have given me. As I summon up the courage to go for another year and a half here I only ask those back home to keep their opinions on my life and my accomplishments to them selves. As my title says, sticks and stones have nothing on words and I will no longer stand for the things being said about me. If you know you're saying them. Stop. Focus more on your life and becoming a better person. I promise I know from experience it's much better for you in the end. 

Friends.

I don't post much on this blog anymore because well, I'm beginning to understand how important it is to keep things to yourself. While I'm not trying to hide anything, I also don't need to share every bit of me with the world. (Plus i don't think we really need another Utahn with a blog.) But I stick with what I've said before, "Social Media is important when it comes to sharing goodness". And that is exactly what I want to share here. 

Recently I've been having many different thoughts and feelings about this certain topic, the topic being friendship. I felt I needed to write down all these thoughts and after many journal pages I've ended up here with the intentions of sharing this with anyone who wants to read it. I'm not naming names or singling out any of my friend is this because I think it's pretty easy to tell who in my life is most important to me. That is not what this post is about. It is merely about friendships them selves and what they mean to me. 

In my life I have been blessed with many friends, some close and some more "friendly acquaintances" . The one thing I've always longed for is a "Best Friend". One single person who grew up with me since I was little, someone who's been there through thick and thin. While some people are lucky enough to have this, I have not been. I have many people who've gown up with me. But none that I can say were always that single friend. I've spent years beating myself up over this wondering why no one cared enough to be MY best friend. Because of this I learned exactly what it means to be, a "Best Friend"

We let people believe that we can only have one single "Best Friend". That by calling them that we single them out above all of our other friends. This person has to have done something special to receive this title. But over time I have learned that we can have multiple Best Friends. And there are no rules when it comes to them. If one day a friend is kind you in a way they never have been before than maybe that day they are your "Best Friend". The next day if another friend makes you laugh when you've been having a hard time maybe then -for just a moment- they are your "Best Friend". It's exactly that, it's a moment, it's a title used to say "look what this person did for me, they deserve recognition!" When the moment is over we can move on and recognize someone else.  

To own this title should be an honor for you not matter how long it lasts. Being someones Best Friend does not mean that they have to be yours, while you may be changing someones life and helping them along the way. Earning you that honorable title. Someone else might be doing the same for you. In your eyes that person would be your "Best Friend", It's like a cycle. This is something that I've had to learn to understand over the past years. I've had to understand why people who are so close to me had to walk away. And see that it's given me the opportunities to meet the people in my life now. And as time goes on I'm sure the cycle will continue. 

One thing I know is true is that no matter how time passes memories don't change. They may fade or become distant but the moment the actually memory will not change. And living in those memories for short moments at a time are what truly make friendships last forever. Every single friendship will last forever if you let it. Friendships are so important to me. When you really thing of it the idea of friendships is truly amazing. We are all given families, good or bad they are ours. But friends, that something we can pick. We choose to let these people alter and affect our lives for better or for worse. It's remarkable if you ask me. It's something I feel honored to do, to leave my mark on people and know that I may have changed their life in whatever time I had. It's an honor. 

Everyone is different and while some moments are for sharing, some are also for keeping to yourself. Some friendships aren't for show or for perks some are deep and meaningful more so than words can describe. It's amazing to me the private connections we can make with so many different people. There are thing said intimately and privately between two people that the world will never know about. These connections are what build and create the wold around us. I love the idea of being molded and made by the powerful and kind relationships I've had.  I know I have had the opportunity to call many people my Best Friend, and I look forward to the many more I will find in this life time. 

"Intimacy is a mysterious thing. It means different things to different people. It can be a closeness that's both emotional or physical. Intimacy can also be a private truth that when glimpsed by another, leave you feeling exposed. And then there's intimacy that comes with friendship. People you can be fully yourself with."

Trained

This week (December 15th-18th) I went through my final round of Entertainment Host training at Disneyland Resort. If I could describe my experience in 4 words they would be, intense, scary, eye-opening, and wonderful. But I'll explain those more later. 

First I want to explain what exactly an Entertainment Host does. To put it simply I'm here for the guest, guide them in lines, tell the which character they are getting in line for, help them make the process easier and answer any questions they might have, not only about characters but about the park in general. Basically we are a walking talking information booth. And to be honest, I can't think of a better job for me.

My trainers Lauren, Kirsten, Danny and Ryan lead by Andy were an amazing group of knowledgeable Cast Members. It seemed like put together they've really seen it all. They were all so willing and ready to answer any question and show us any where that we had a hard time finding. I couldn't imagine what this week would have been had even one of them not been there. So I thank them for that kindness, and encouragement. 

All together there were 11 of us trainees, a few transfers from other departments and a couple new hires just like myself. We made quite a mix of people. The first two mornings were filled with power points and activities everything to help us get ready for the job. But after lunch it was time to go out and begin our "on-the-job training" We were split into smaller groups so that we could each go out into the park with out looking like a mass of people. I was paired with Sally and we would spend the rest of the week together learning everything we possibly could. Calling this training intense is an understatement. There is just so much to learn in a very small amount of time. But the end of just day 2 my head felt like it was ready to explode. 

On our first day as we toured the Disneyland park we were sent with our trainer Lauren as we learned the ins and outs of the park she was there to answer every question. Again on the second day we were sent of with our trainer Kirsten to tour Disney's California Adventure. Both of these trainers seemed like they really knew it all. And it was really nice to know that no matter how dumb the question they were open to answering it. I do have to say that Day two was my "scary" day. It just seemed that while she was kind and knowledgeable the teaching styles of Kirsten just didn't match with the way I learned. 

Before explaining my days 3 & 4 of my training I want to go back to the beginning... like the very beginning of my Disney journey. At the end of day 2 we all shared our stories of what lead each of us to a job at Disneyland Resort. For some of us it was just another job and for others it was a life dream. Each of us had a different reason for being there and I want to quickly share mine. 

I've always loved Disneyland, going a minimum of twice a year while in High School I felt pretty lucky. Anyone who knows me knows that I would have loved to work there but I wasn't ready just yet to plan my entire life around something that was so far away from my hometown. It wasn't until August of 2013 that all of that change. That summer after my Senior year was one of the "darkest" times of my life. I had friends going off to college, leaving for LDS missions and some who just cut me out of their lives entirely, I was longing for a trip to Disneyland to get my mind off everything going on around me at home. As we arrived at the park my sister Linnea headed into the park while I purchased my very first Annual Pass. She ran over to Fantasy Faire so we could meet those princesses before a huge line formed. Walking down Mainstreet USA that day I remember my eyes filling with tears. Disneyland was so welcoming and so was everyone there. As we came to the entrance of Fantasy Faire we met an Entertainment Host named Jeremy. 

Jeremy was only doing his job, being happy friendly and ready answer and of our questions. I remember him asking about everything we wanted to do and him being so willing to tell us where to go and when to go there to get it done. Even though I knew he was going to do this with everyone, I felt like he made sure that Linnea and I were taken care of before moving on. He truly cared about us as guests. We parted ways and headed off to get everything done in the quickest time we could. About 5 hours into our day we decided to take a short cut through Fantasy Faire and there Jeremy pulled us out of the crowd. Calling me by name, he asked if we had actually accomplished our goals and met everyone we had wanted too.

I have had many incredible experiences with cast members during my many trips to Disneyland but none that effected me in the way that this one did. Jeremy had gone above and beyond to make sure we were taken care of. It was that day that I decided I HAD to work there. Especially in an Entertainment Host position. I wanted to make sure that I could do for someone what Jeremy did for me. Because during a time in my life when I felt completely friendless here was this stranger who was more than willing to be my friend even if it was just for a few moments. And being in a job that could allow me to do that for someone would be a dream come true. And that's where my journey began...

On our 3rd day of training we were sent off with our trainer Danny, who is basically like a 6 foot tall teddy bear. Now, the tours were over and we finally got to experience what hosting with characters was really like. Danny was hands down my favorite trainer, he listened and helped with everything we needed. And he even shared experiences of his own while helping us. He was real and incredible easy to relate too.  At the end of the day we headed over to Mickey's House in Toontown to host with the one and only Mickey Mouse. Something we'd kind of all been waiting to do. As we learned how to load guests into meet Mickey, Danny looked to me and said "Well, look who's in here" and of course I was thinking "Mickey Mouse duh..." but as I turned the corner I was face to face with Jeremy. The person who had started this entire journey for me. After talking with him, sharing my story and thanking him for setting me on this life changing path we shared quick hugs and headed off. From an incredible trainer to finally thanking the one person responsible for this I have to say that Day 3 was my favorite. 

Day 4 was very similar to day 3 but this time we were on our own and it was very eye-opening. It really showed me what I had to work on. But again I want to compliment my final trainer Ryan on being honest, and just shoving us into the deep end because it's exactly what I needed. 

Even through the ups and downs of it all this training was wonderful I've learned so much about who I am, about Disneyland and what it stands for and even so much about the entertainment business and everything that it takes to keep it going. 

I can not wait to begin this wonderful journey starting this Sunday on Buena Vista Street with Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. 

Disney Dreaming

This past weekend I went through basic training at the Disneyland Resort. This is the training that every employee goes through. Whether they are out in the park or backstage in costuming, every Cast Member goes through these classes. My training lasted from Friday to Sunday. Each day was a 6-8 hour work day. I went through 4 different classes in that time and I want to share with you a basic overview of each class.

Traditions: Friday Nov. 28, 2014 7:30AM - 5:00PM

Each class has a different reason and rhyme, this is the first one that anyone attends, it's that first big "Wecome to Disneyland" impression. Everywhere I turned there was another cast member congratulating me, and reminding me how incredibly lucky I am and how many people wanted the position that I am in. We started the morning off with what was the most boring part of the day, but we all understand it's something you'd have to go through in any job. We watched as out very 90's animation video guide Chris took us through all the legal information we needed to know. A 45 minute snooze fest. After that we broke into smaller groups and headed into different class rooms to start our day. We watched inspiring videos (that I must admit I cried during.) We learned Disney mottos and just how important every single person is to the "show" We even took a quick tour of the Disneyland Park. Taking in the moments being made by both guests and cast members. After our tour we made our way back to the class room and after discussing everything we learned, a few minutes later with a knock at the door in came our boss... Mickey Mouse! With a big box of gifts for all of us, and as if seeing Mickey wasn't good enough he brought us all our official Disneyland name tags! When he came into that room each of us turned into a little kid on their first trip to Disneyland. A long day can always have a happy ending. 

Our California Story Saturday Nov. 29, 2014 8:30AM - 3:30PM

This class isn't offered to everyone, it is specifically for people who will be working in Disney's California Adventure Park. We discussed the history of the park and even though it's only 13 years old this park has so much History especially since the Buena Vista Street redesign and addition of Cars Land in 2012. We again took a tour of the park, here in California Adventure when we were out there we were supposed to look into the history of each park and why it has significance being there. Every place in the park play part in a story. A Disney story.  This day was our shortest day but happened to be my favorite. I loved learning and exploring California Adventure, it taught me so much.

Welcome to Operations: Sunday Nov. 30, 2014 8:30AM - 12:30PM

This class is what I would call "the boring class" but the "extremely important boring class" We learned about OSHA we learned how to carry things with out damaging your self or the object and we learned how to be safe, during everything we do in our roles at Disneyland. This class was short but extremely informational.

Welcome to Entertainment: Sunday Nov. 30, 2014 12:30PM-5:15PM

For the first time all weekened we split into our respective jobs. Everyone going into Attractions headed into one area and everyone in Foods headed to another and so on. My job falls under the Entertainment category, our time spent in the class room was short but wonderful we watched a couple videos of what being in Entertainment was all about. And again we left out on tour of the park. While I can't describe what we did and say I'll say this working for Disney in any job is a true gift. You are cared for and important whether you are sewing costumes or cleaning dishes, everything you do builds and creates what Disneyland is.

While my training classes were long, I did my best to enjoy every second. I can't wait to see where this opportunity leads me.